guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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