if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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