Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
