oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
