Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
