No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize