So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
my liver is dry heaving
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
