i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
