you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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