True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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