i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I checked into jail on foursquare
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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