Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
