Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
