Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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