You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
