pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
