kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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