thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Randomize
