I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
