I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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