He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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