i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize