I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
