Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
