Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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