Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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