i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize