butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
