we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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