She said her name was "party"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
