How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
