good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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