You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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