he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
