The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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