Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize