Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
