You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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