i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize