Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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