Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
