bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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