I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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