I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
