Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
