he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
false alarm. still invincible.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
