I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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