So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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