this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
