I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
