you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
