I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
