Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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