i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
