Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
