Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
