just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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