Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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(917): View more from New York City

I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i can recognize that vagina from a mile away

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(951): View more from California

I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.

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(716): View more from New York

i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.

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(817): View more from Texas

My dog and I just went outside to pee together.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.

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