There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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