operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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