Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
