last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
