wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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