hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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