This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
