think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
