oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
