mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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