This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
