I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
