If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
