Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize