oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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