if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
