How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize