Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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