My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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