no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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