Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize